A year ago today I was traveling home from the south. I knew the world my wife and I knew was being turned upside down. Everything was crashing down, as false accusations and social media attacks were rising. We knew that our life, and the small congregation of friends we had made in previous 20 years was rapidly changing. The future was unknown. The only known was that it was time to move, and time to change.
Saying Goodbye is Never Easy
Saying goodbye is never easy, and we had friends we thought of as family that we helped to connect to a nearby church. It was hard as the chapter closed and in many respects it felt like the book was closing on our lives, our home, our work, and our service to a community that was home.
Saying goodbye is even harder when it feels like you are saying goodbye to yourself. Leaving jobs we’d enjoyed. Leaving community we loved deeply. Having everything about you questioned. Shutting down social media and loosing many years of photos with family and friends. A piece of you dies, and you know life will never be quite the same again.
Saying goodbye closed doors that you thought were heading in a way of blessing. Dreams and hopes you’d thought were opening before you are suddenly closed, shutdown, and buried in a coffin of pain. All grief, whether a person or a job will leave you with scars and pain. You may heal, but the scars will remain and become a part of who you are.
Thankfulness in the Valley
It is hard to celebrate when your heart is broken, and your life has been destroyed. It can be even more difficult to find things to be thankful for when all around you the world is chaotic and hope seems far away.
The Twenty-Third Psalm says, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For, You are with me.” It is only in times that are so tough and loss is so strong that we can start to grasp what those words really mean. In the darkest days after leaving I held on to the promise that God was with us, even though I had no idea what we would do to pay bills or what steps take next.
It took some work, but in the dark valley of grief and pain I learned to find little things to be thankful and grateful for. We were living with family, since we had no home, but I could be thankful that we were not living out of our car in the cold winter.
I wasn’t sure whether I could stand before a room of students, anxiety overwhelmed me at every turn. Opportunity in a small private Christian school, where we pray together regularly became a blessing to strengthen my daily steps. I’m thankful for a sister who was looking out for me and told me of the need, and for coworkers of faith who pray for one another, and allow grief and rebuliding.
New unexpected opportunity in writing for an online outdoor website was a big praise. I’ve always liked writing and enjoyed the outdoors. God put a new door before me that, while just starting to get off the ground, offers opportunity to write in areas I am passionate about.
I’m learning to be thankful for God’s leading in ministry. The pain of having to shutdown a church is hard. I know at this point I am not ready to take on the administrative needs of a congregation. However, starting Deep Treks gives me a place to use creativity and my ministry experience to create this new ministry. I’ve had some opportunity to conduct pulpit fill. I’m still not sure where everything is going, but I’m thankful God has led us to minister in some way.
Continually Seeking God’s Guidance
I’ve said for a long time, “Life is an adventure. It’s like a roller coaster of an adventure.” I can say that is still how I feel after a year of walking through the valley of the unknown and the change that has come upon us.
I’ve enjoyed finding more time to spend seeking God’s daily guidance, praying for ministers and ministries around the world, and studying more in depth into God’s word. I’ve enjoyed the season of seeing family more and building a connection with our grandchildren.
I still don’t entirely know where God is taking me at this point and in this season. I continue to seek God’s guidance for my writing, this ministry, and for opportunities to serve Him to inspire others. I continue to follow in this unknown way, as I grow more confident and let healing and revival rebuild my soul.
Blessings on the journey,
Dan Shipton
Deep Treks 